Overwhelmed

Was feeling a little overwhelmed on the way back from lifegroup just now. Tonight I felt like God really gave me a lot of revelation regarding certain stuff.

1) When a friend was sharing about the communion, I felt impressed to share about believing God for wholeness (spirit, emotions and body) rather than just believe for bodily healing through the broken body of Christ which seems to be more emphasized.

2) I was praying for a friend who was suffering from low self-esteem, which I struggle from as well. As I was getting ready to pray, I felt I learnt something new about low self-esteem which I have not heard in this way before. 'Low self-esteem basically stems from comparing oneself with others.' That is why God wants us to have our own walk before Him. And I was reminded about Jesus calling Peter to follow him after His resurrection and when Peter asked about John, Jesus simply told him to follow him (i.e to mind his own business). The incident can be found in John 21:20-22.

3) On the way home, I was thinking about faith being the great equalizer. Think I heard that quote from one of the preachers I used to listen to. Then I was thinking about God who is supposed to be a fair God but yet why different people have different gifts and resources to work with. Then I realised that God is indeed fair cos at the end of the day, 'to whom much has been given, much will be required'. So some of us who have more to work with in this lifetime will be accountable for more than others who may not be as 'advantaged' as us.

4) I was also thinking about what I believed subconsciously about needing to be whole in an area before being qualified enough to minister in the same area. The reason why I was contemplating about this was because I found it really difficult to minister to my friend in the lifegroup because I am also facing and still trying to overcome the same issue which is low self-esteem. So, to me its like a wounded healer trying to bring healing to another wounded person. Then I was reminded about the verse that said that God has chosen the weak things (1 Cor 1:27). It does not mention that God uses the strong or already healed. If God chooses the weak, then I suppose I do qualify. ;)

So much revelation in one night. No wonder I feel so overwhelmed, in a good way of course.

You Follow Me

John 21:18-22 (NCV)


¹⁸ I tell you the truth, when you were younger, you tied your own belt and went where you wanted. But when you are old, you will put out your hands and someone else will tie you and take you where you don't want to go." ¹⁹ (Jesus said this to show how Peter would die to give glory to God.) Then Jesus said to Peter, "Follow me!"
 ²⁰ Peter turned and saw that the follower Jesus loved was walking behind them. (This was the follower who had leaned against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who will turn against you?")²¹ When Peter saw him behind them, he asked Jesus, "Lord, what about him?"
 ²² Jesus answered, "If I want him to live until I come back, that is not your business. You follow me."


I have come to realise after so long that my walk with Jesus is quite unique. My situation and set of challenges differ a fair bit from the typical Christian. I am not trying to make myself out to be special. In fact, given the choice I'll choose to be the typical Christian anytime. Fortunately or unfortunately,  I do not have the choice and having been through all that I have been through has made me the person I am today. Coming to terms with myself and my walk can be and has been tough to say the least. 


I find myself very often like Peter in the scriptures above. When Jesus gave specific instructions to follow Him, Peter was more concerned about someone else other than himself. I suppose I am similar to Peter in a slightly different way. I too tend to ask "What about so and so?" I also tend to question why I have to go through what I have gone through and am still going through. I sometimes envy others whom I know are not and will never go through my situations and circumstances in life. 


"I wish I was better looking."
"I wish my parents are super rich and I do not have to work so I can pursue my dreams."
"I wish I was more charismatic."
"I wish I was taller."
"I wish my voice was deeper."


As I read through the scriptures above on my way to work today, I felt that Jesus' answer to Peter was very apt for me and my attitude as well. 


 ²² Jesus answered, "If I want him to live until I come back, that is not your business. You follow me."


Whatever I go through, it's my walk before Jesus. Everyone has their own walk with Jesus. It is not my business to find out how others walk. I am to follow Jesus and have my own walk before Him. Help me to remember that Lord......

Divine Health And Healing

Just some verses on health and healing......


Isaiah 53:4-5 (NASB) Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God and afflicted. 5) But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by  His scourging we are healed.


1 Peter 2:24 (NASB) and He Himself bore our sins in His own body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.


Matthew 8:17 (NASB) This was to fulfill what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet:"He Himself took our infirmities and carried away our diseases."


Romans 8:11 (NASB) But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Strongholds

Just a thought. I only saw this over the weekend. 2 Corinthians 10:4 (Amplified) says "For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds," Usually strongholds refer to things that have been built up over a long period of time and are really difficult to overcome. I know for myself that there are a number of strongholds in my life. Thank God that His weapons can overthrow as well as destroy them.

"What? Are We Blind Too?"

The above question was taken from John 9:40 (NIV). It was asked by the Pharisees after Jesus had healed a man born blind and commented that it was for judgement that He (Jesus) had come into the world, so that the blind would see and those who see would become blind.

To me, that is such an ironic question because we know that the Pharisees were the "blind" ones and yet they were not aware of it. My question to myself is "Am I like that too?" Many times I have come across people who are so oblivious to their faults and attitudes that it kind of shocks me. It is like it's so darn obvious but yet the person does not seem to be the least aware. The Chinese have this phrase 旁观者清 which in essence means that the outsider sees the clearer picture. I think it is so true. Sometimes certain traits of my character are so norm to me that it really takes someone else to tell me about it. I pray that God will have people in my life who would tell me if they feel I have a flaw in my character.

In Everything

Philippians 4:6 Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.  Amplified Bible (bolding's mine)

This verses is commonly an encouragement verse to me, but occasionally it becomes a minor rebuke to me as well. I was listening about to my brother complaining about his wife and also listening to stuff happening in church. And after that I was happily or maybe not so happily giving my point of view about his wife and the happenings in church. It was only after he left and I was alone thinking back about what was spoken and lamenting to God about the existence of weird people, especially weird Christians that I realised one thing...... I had listened, I had gossiped, I had lamented but I had not prayed! In the midst of all the getting emo and stuff I had neglected the most important thing and that was to pray.

I had to recompose myself and start to pray about all the stuff that I had an issue with. And I take that as a rebuke. The bible is so clear about not gossiping yet I still continue to do so. The bible is so clear about praying about everything, yet I seldom do. Hmmm, will bear this in mind....... God help me......

Divine Protection

Just heard from a colleague that a doctor in my department died in an accident. Apparently he is only 37. It was really sad because he left a wife and two kids (one on the way). This made me ponder about the fragility of life. But as I thought more about it, I felt reminded that life is not meant to be this way and life is NOT as fragile as it seems. In the bible we have countless references to show that 1) God desires for us to live long. 2) God desires for us to be protected. I will type out the whole of Psalm 91 and from there we can pretty much see God's heart towards His children......

Psalm 91(NASB) says,......

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty

I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in Whom I trust!"

For it is He Who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
And from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with His pinions,
And under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and a bulwark.

You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
Or of the arrow that flies by day;

Or of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.

A thousand may fall your side
And ten thousand at your right hand,
But it shall not approach you.

You will only look on with your eyes
And see the recompense of the wicked.

For you have made the LORD, my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place.

No evil will befall you,
Nor will any plaque come near your tent.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.

They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
The young lion and serpent you will trample down.

"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known my name.

He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.

With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation."

The above is Psalm 91 from the NASB version (boldings added by me). I believe that this psalm is more than enough to prove God's heart for His people. Even as I typed this psalm out I could feel faith arising in me. Some other scriptures that relate to this topic is

Ephesians 6:2-3 (NASB) that says: Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the Earth.

1 Thessalonians 5:23,24 (NLT) that says: Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus comes again. God will make this happen, for He who calls you is faithful.

Galatians 1:4 (Amplified) that says: Who gave (yielded) Himself up [to atone] for our sins [and to save and sanctify us], in order to rescue and deliver us from this present wicked age and world order, in accordance with the will and purpose and plan of our God and Father--

These are only some that I can rattle off my mind. If I go into a word study, I am sure I can find way more references than these. So while I am on this Earth, I want to be in a place where I am trusting God for all these promises. It certainly beats going around afraid and worried about the 'fragility' of life. This certainly makes life a whole lot more worryfree......